Here are five common mental habits that fuel anxiety—and what you can do to break free from them.
1. Overthing Everything
What it looks like:
You replay conversations in your head. You second-guess your choices. You imagine every possible way something could go wrong.
Why it keeps you anxious:
Overthinking traps you in “what if” land. It makes small problems feel huge and turns decisions into stress spirals.
Set a time limit for decisions. Give yourself 10–15 minutes to think things through, then commit and move forward. Practice saying, “I’ve thought about this enough.” Journaling can help too—it gets thoughts out of your head and onto paper, which gives your brain some relief.
2. Always Expecting the Worst
What it looks like
You assume things won’t work out. If someone doesn’t text back right away, you think they’re mad. If you feel a small pain, you worry it’s something serious.
Why it keeps you anxious:
This is a form of mental self-defense. Your brain tries to prepare for the worst so you won’t be caught off guard—but instead, you live in a constant state of dread.
Challenge negative thoughts. Ask yourself, “What else could be true?” and “Has this worst-case thing actually happened before? Most of the time, your fears won’t come true. Keep a log of outcomes so you can start seeing patterns and proof that things usually turn out okay.
3. Trying to Control Everything
What it looks like:
You feel uncomfortable when plans change. You worry a lot about other people’s behavior. You feel like it’s your job to fix things or keep everyone happy.
Why it keeps you anxious:
Trying to control everything is exhausting. And since you can’t control everything, your mind is constantly fighting reality.
Learn to sit with uncertainty. Start small—let someone else plan dinner or handle a task their way. Repeat this truth to yourself: I can handle what happens, even if I don’t control it. Let go of the illusion of control, and you’ll start feeling more peace.
4. Avoiding Discomfort
What it looks like:
You procrastinate on tasks that make you nervous. You avoid hard conversations. You scroll or binge-watch to escape feelings.
Why it keeps you anxious:
Avoidance gives short-term relief but increases long-term anxiety. The more you avoid something, the scarier it feels.
How to break it:
Face small discomforts head-on. Start with low-stakes situations, like making a phone call or saying no to something. Over time, you’ll build confidence. Anxiety shrinks when you prove to yourself you can handle hard things.
5. Being too Hard on Yourself
You beat yourself up for mistakes. You call yourself names like “lazy,” “stupid,” or “a failure.” You never feel like you’re doing enough.
Why it keeps you anxious:
Self-criticism creates constant pressure. Instead of feeling supported, you feel attacked—by your own mind.
Start noticing your self-talk. Ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” If not, change it. Practice self-compassion. Say things like, “I’m doing my best,” or “It’s okay to be human.” Being kind to yourself doesn’t make you weaker—it makes you stronger.
Final Thoughts: You’re not Broken
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It often just means your brain has learned some habits that aren’t helping you anymore.
The key is awareness. When you can spot these habits—and slowly replace them with healthier ways of thinking—you create space for peace, confidence, and calm.
Start small. Choose one habit to work on this week. You don’t have to fix everything overnight. Progress is enough.
Bonus read
It’s a short, powerful mindset shift that helps you stop over-managing other people—and start focusing on your own peace of min
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