I wave. I smile. I nod. And what do I get in return? Nothing. Not a glance. Not a grin. Not even a twitch of acknowledgment. Just the cold, unblinking stare of people who either don’t see me—or are pretending not to. I’ve started calling it “The Sarasota Stare.”

And it’s got me wondering… what the heck happened to just saying hi?

Theory 1: 🧟‍♂️ The Florida Face Freeze

It’s hot out here, folks. So hot your sunscreen melts into your eyeballs and your lips glue to your gums. Maybe people want to be friendly, but the effort it takes to smile feels like climbing Everest in a sauna. I get it. After mile two on an ebike in August, I start rethinking all my life choices too.

Theory 2: 😎 The Sunglasses + AirPods Combo Lock

Everyone in Sarasota seems to be walking around like they’re guarding state secrets. Giant sunglasses that could double as welding shields. Earbuds so deep in their heads, I’m afraid they’re communicating directly with the moon.

When you combine both? You’re basically shouting into the void. I say “Hi!” and I’m pretty sure their Spotify algorithm is the only one who hears me.

Theory 3: 👵 The Senior Shuffle

Now listen, I’m a retiree myself, proudly aging into my sandals like the rest of them. But let’s be real—some of us are just on a whole different wavelength.

You could juggle chainsaws on fire while dressed as a flamingo, and they’d still be slowly cruising past, lost in thought about whether they used the last of the sweet’n low. That kind of focus is impressive… but also kind of isolating.

Theory 4: 🧠 Social Skills Went into Quarantine and Never Came Back

Let’s not ignore the obvious. COVID turned us all into socially awkward hermits. We spent two years hiding behind masks, learning to mute ourselves on Zoom, and avoiding eye contact like it spread disease.

Now, even a simple wave feels too intimate. People flinch like you just asked them to co-sign a car loan. I get it. I really do. But we have to re-learn the ancient art of basic courtesy.

Theory 5: 🪞 Maybe I’m the Problem?

Let’s be honest—I’ve considered this one. Maybe my “Hi!” is too enthusiastic. Maybe my ebike is just too cool and folks feel unworthy of my radiant friendliness. Maybe I’m giving off “door-to-door salesman” vibes.

Then again… maybe I just miss when people used to act like humans.

What’s the Fix?

Look, I’m not saying we all need to form a conga line down the Legacy Trail. I don’t need hugs. I don’t even need words. Just give me a head nod, a wave, a smirk, or even a solid grunt.

I just want a little recognition. Something to say, “I see you, fellow Earthling.”

So if you’re ever in Sarasota and you see a guy on a black Lectric ebike grinning like an overly friendly Labrador, do us both a favor—wave back. Make eye contact. Fight the Sarasota Stare.

Because this place is full of sunshine, good vibes, and palm trees. But we could use a little more human connection. And it all starts with one word:

Hi.

The post was created with the assistance of ChatGPT.